dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize