Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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