ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The feeling are messing with the penis
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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