Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
