glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
