very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
try to milk me bitch
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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