dude i'm inner monologue high
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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