They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
