How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
