She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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