Im at strip club and am horny
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
