her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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