weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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