if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize