the condom got lost in my hair
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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