K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
