Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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