You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
