It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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