i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
