He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
