dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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