i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
