So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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