bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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