After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
