everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
sarcasm needs its own font
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
