Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
