but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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