shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
one two three fourrrrnication!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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