I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
