the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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