walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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