My cat gives me a boner
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
