Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
