Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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