Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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