that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize