can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
