I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
