ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
