no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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