I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Randomize
