I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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