Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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