flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
