Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
