Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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