I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
