Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
