i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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