I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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