I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
