You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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