I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
