Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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