my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
