Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She tied me up with her honor cords...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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