The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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