it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
