just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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