thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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